The Female Brain - Laura Brizendine

This is an excellent book which I think should be read by females and males alike. It's companion, The Male Brain, was recently released and I plan to read that soon. Both books are written in a very accessible style, and both emphasize the effects hormones have on making women unique from men or vice versa.

The Female Brain talks through the development of the female brain from conception through old age. With my Early Childhood Education background, those chapters particularly stuck out to me, but I would recommend that if nothing else, you read the chapter which applies to your current age (for women) or the current age of your significant other (for men).

The Chapter on the Mommy Brain (all the changes that occur in the brain for both biological and adoptive mothers) was especially fascinating. I have heard a lot of moms say their brains when to mush while they were pregnant or when they brought the baby home, and their are biological causes and reasons for that.

The book is broken up into the following chapters and appendices:

What Makes Us Women
The Birth of the Female Brain
Teen Girl Brain
Love and Trust
Sex
The Mommy Brain
Emotion: The Feeling Brain
The Mature Female Brain
The Future of the Female Brain
Hormone Therapy
Sexual Orientation
Postpartum Depression

By reading this book, I gained a great deal of insight into myself and many of the women I know at all stages of life.

Here are a few things that stood out to me:

-Girls brains are ready for emotional connection at birth. In general, infant girls are more skilled at gazing at people and reading emotions. This ability for mutual face gazing and eye contact increases 400% in the first 3 months of life, while this ability does not increase at all for infant boys in the same time period.

-Girls seek approval in facial expressions. They do not tolerate flat faces and will keep trying to elicit an expression. Thus, if a mother is depressed, her daughter will think her straight expression is a form of rejection of the daughter's self.

-Girls can hear more vocal tones than boys, which makes it easier for them to obey instructions and heed warnings.

-Girls talk to see if they are being listened to and they use this information to determine if others take them seriously.

-Girls calm more easily than boys because they can "absorb" their caregivers emotions and empathize with him/her.

-Infantile puberty lasts 24 months for girls (9 mo. for boys) and bathes the brain in estrogen which makes girls emotionally adept and into caregiving even as toddlers.

-"The 'nervous system environment" a girl absorbs during her first two years becomes a view of reality that will affect her for the rest of her life." Even being raised by the same parents, 2 girls born at different times could absorb nurturing if born in good times or fear if born in unsettling times, thus shaping their world views. "If you're a mom-t0-be carrying a female fetus, take it easy so your daughter will be able to relax." (p. 20)

-When teenage girls talk, it increases the intimacy of their relationships which releases dopamine in the brain (pleasurable) making the reward for talking with friends even greater, thus encouraging them to keep talking.

-Women's self-image is based largely on the quality of their relationships.

-Fear of conflict and end of relationships can make girls willing to sacrifice anything in order to maintain a relationship.

There were plenty of other interesting things in the book. There are some things in the book with which I completely agree and others of which I am skeptical. I recommend you take a look at it to better understand yourself and the women around you.

The Learning Tree - Gordon Parks

The Learning Tree tells the story of Newt, a young African American boy growing up in the Midwest in the 1920s. During this period, racial segregation was still accepted by many. He has a group of friends with whom he has many adventures including trapping animals in the winter and swimming in the river in the summer.

While Newt is extremely innocent in some ways, his experiences with being discriminated against force him to function beyond his age. He is very smart, but does not have the access to resources some of his white peers and friends have.

He must face the death of loved ones through natural causes, as well as because of racial and economic circumstances of his time.

Throughout the book, Newt has to make several decisions far beyond his age and often decide between telling the truth and protecting himself and his family from harm.

The House on Mango Street - Sandra Cisneros

Using a minimalistic style, Cisneros tells this story from the perspective of Esperanza, a young Latina girl growing up in Chicago. It is clear from the series of vignettes that Esperanza lives in a poor neighborhood. Each word has clearly been carefully selected and each paints a powerful picture with creative and unique metaphors which evoke a full array of emotions. To give you a good idea of the style of the book, here is one of my favorite vignettes:

Bums in the Attic

"I want to work on a hill like the ones with the gardens where Papa works. We go on Sundays, Papa's day off. I used to go. I don't anymore. You don't like to go out with us, Papa says. Getting too old? Getting too stuck up says Nenny. I don't tell them I am ashamed--all of us staring out the window like the hungry. I am tired of looking at what we can't have. When we win the lottery . . . Mama begins, and then I stop listening.

"People who live on hills sleep so close to the stars they forget those of us who live too much on earth. They don't look down at all except to be content to live on hills. They have nothing to do with last week's garbage or fear of rats. Night comes. Nothing wakes them but the wind.

"One day I'll own my own house, but I won't forget who I am or where I came from. Passing bums will ask, Can I come in? I'll offer them the attic, ask them to stay, because I know how it is to be without a house.

"Some days after dinner, guests and I will sit in front of a fire. Floorboards will squeak upstairs. The attic grumble.

"Rats? they'll ask.

"Bums, I'll say, and I'll be happy."

The Accident - Elie Wiesel

Told in a unique style through Eliezer's voice, The Accident narrates the struggles the living experience after witnessing and being surrounded by death. His companion throughout his adulthood, Kathleen, tries to bring him back from the "living dead." The book weaves the past with stories of his grandmother, mother and father, all killed in concentration camps, and the present, with his desire to die after he is hit by a cab. Several people try to convince him of the utility and joy that can be found in life.

How Good Do We Have to Be? - Harold Kushner - 1.2010

This book gives a thought-provoking and inspiring look at God's unconditional love for us, and how understanding that love can shape our lives. It takes a look at the Garden of Eden and posits that perhaps God was blessing Adam and Eve by sending them out of the Garden, and not punishing them to a life of misery. This could have signaled the beginning of their true humanity, because by having knowledge of good and evil, they could choose to act, rather than just acting as all other animals do. Thus, God becomes a Being who does not punish us for our mistakes, but gives us a full measure of His love in all things as we are ready to receive it.

This idea of unconditional love is then applied to our personal relationships, allowing us to not expect perfection from ourselves, our parents, our siblings, our spouses, our children, or our friends. This releases us and allows complete acceptance of one another, free from disappointment, since disappointment comes from unmet expectations. By not expecting perfection from each other, we are more likely to see each other's actions in a pleasant light.

One great quote from the book: "When we do something wrong, because we are human and our choices are so complicated and temptations so strong, we don't lose our humanity. But we lose our integrity, our sense of wholeness, of being the same person all the time. We create a situation where a part of us, our good self, is at war with another part of us, our weak and selfish side. We lose the focus, the singleness of purpose, that enables us to do the things that matter to us. That is when we need the religious gift of forgiveness and atonement (making our split selves at one). But should we ever conclude that there is no point in trying to be good because we can never be good enough, that is when we lose everything. Being human can never mean being perfect, but it should always mean struggling to be as good as we can and never letting our failures be a reason for giving up the struggle" (p. 174).

This is one of the best books I have read in a very long time.

The Boy in the Striped Pajamas - John Boyne - 1.2010

This story is told through the eyes of Bruno, an 9-year-old boy whose father is a German army officer. As seen through Bruno's eyes, his father is a very important and very good man. Bruno barely notices the inconsistencies when his family moves from Berlin to a place he calls, "Out With" (Auschwitz). He quickly becomes bored without his friends, and begins exploring the area, wondering why all of the people on the other side of the fence wear pajamas all day, and why he isn't allowed to play with them. He meets one boy, Shmuel, and begins a daily discussion with him through the fence, far from Bruno's home.

Bruno sees many parallels between his life and Shmuel's: they share a birthdate, they were both forced to move from homes they loved, etc. He also notices that he does not like the way the family's butler and others of "those people" are treated by the soldiers. He is especially confused when the butler, Pavel, claims he is actually a doctor, a soldier beats Pavel for spilling wine, and Shmuel complains about life on the other side of the fence. Bruno thinks he is lucky to have other children to play with since Bruno is alone. Bruno is also confused why and guilty that he claims he's never seen Shmuel before and denies sharing food with him, claiming Shmuel stole it.

Tragedy strikes when Bruno crosses the fence to help his friend search for his missing father.

This is a creative interpretation and voice on a frequently-explored tragedy. This is a quick read, which I highly recommend.

My Mortal Enemy - Willa Cather - 1.2010

Summary courtesy of Wikipedia

"Myra and her husband return to their fictional hometown of Parthia, Illinois, to visit their relatives. Nellie and Aunt Lydia then leave to spend the Christmas holiday in New York City with them. They live on Madison Square. They dine with Ewan Gray, a friend who has an infatuation on another actress, Esther Sinclair. Oswald receives silver-buttons for his shirt from an old Western acquaintance, and asks Lydia to pretend she gave them to him to thwart his wife's jealousy. Later Myra and Nellie go to the opera; in a loge they spot an erstwhile friend of Myra's, which makes her sad. Later they take a hansom around a park and chance upon a rich acquaintance of Myra's, which leads her to be scornful over her own poverty. They spend Christmas dinner with friends of the Henshawes - both artists and people of privilege. Later they spend New Year's Eve with artists again. A few days later Nellie witnesses the Henshawes argue; the husband takes her out to lunch. Soon after, she and her aunt are to return to Illinois. On the train, they are joined by Myra, who has argued with her husband again and is going to visit a friend in Pittsburg for a change of scenery.

Ten years later, Nellie moved into a shabby flat in a little town on the west coast, and bumps into the Henshawes. Myra is now bedridden and Oswald works fulltime; their upstairs neighbours are atrociously noisy, regardless Myra's illness. Nellie takes to visiting her at tea-time; she also takes her out by the sea. Myra expresses her regrets over her husband. (If she had not married him, her great-uncle would have bequeathed her his fortune. Instead, she eloped and he gave it away to the church.) Oswald takes to having lunch with a young woman Once, Nellie asks her why she is so harsh on her husband, and Myra dismisses her. Shortly after, her condition gets worse. She dismisses everyone and runs away; she is found dead by the seaside the following day. Her husband expresses no remorse about his wife; he loved her despite her difficult conduct. After her death he moves to Alaska and later Nellie hears about his death."