How Good Do We Have to Be? - Harold Kushner - 1.2010

This book gives a thought-provoking and inspiring look at God's unconditional love for us, and how understanding that love can shape our lives. It takes a look at the Garden of Eden and posits that perhaps God was blessing Adam and Eve by sending them out of the Garden, and not punishing them to a life of misery. This could have signaled the beginning of their true humanity, because by having knowledge of good and evil, they could choose to act, rather than just acting as all other animals do. Thus, God becomes a Being who does not punish us for our mistakes, but gives us a full measure of His love in all things as we are ready to receive it.

This idea of unconditional love is then applied to our personal relationships, allowing us to not expect perfection from ourselves, our parents, our siblings, our spouses, our children, or our friends. This releases us and allows complete acceptance of one another, free from disappointment, since disappointment comes from unmet expectations. By not expecting perfection from each other, we are more likely to see each other's actions in a pleasant light.

One great quote from the book: "When we do something wrong, because we are human and our choices are so complicated and temptations so strong, we don't lose our humanity. But we lose our integrity, our sense of wholeness, of being the same person all the time. We create a situation where a part of us, our good self, is at war with another part of us, our weak and selfish side. We lose the focus, the singleness of purpose, that enables us to do the things that matter to us. That is when we need the religious gift of forgiveness and atonement (making our split selves at one). But should we ever conclude that there is no point in trying to be good because we can never be good enough, that is when we lose everything. Being human can never mean being perfect, but it should always mean struggling to be as good as we can and never letting our failures be a reason for giving up the struggle" (p. 174).

This is one of the best books I have read in a very long time.